Wednesday, June 18, 2008
We are working on several things with Collin this summer. One is his inability to use anything approaching an “indoor voice.” My theory is that he is so used to shouting at big boys on the playground until they listen to him (“HEY ROSS! HEY! ROSS! LOOK AT ME!! I’M OPTIMUS PRIME! KARATE KICK!! ROSS! LUCAS!! WATCH ME!) that he thinks that’s how he needs to talk all the time. Even when he whispers it’s a ridiculously loud stage whisper.
He did, however, make me day a few weeks ago when he said the following to his beloved babysitter: My mom is 26—no, I think maybe, I think 36. But don’t worry, Carrie. She doesn’t have any wrinkles and I don’t think she’s even a little bit close to dying yet.
What a relief!
The other ordeal Collin faces soon is the mailing off of all his “passas” (pacifiers) to Lolita, the Pacifier Fairy (kindly voiced by Auntie Nette). When he does this he will get an amazing prize in return, but he’s not sure anything could be worth it. So wish us—and him—luck.
Mercurial. That’s our daughter. She finds us all hilarious, as evidenced by her assertions that, “Mommy, you crack me out!” Then I do something cruel like throw away the filthy shoelace she found on the playground and is now sucking on (ewwww) and she turns into demon child . . .
Lilah (enraged): I’m not going to be your friend anymore! I’m not going to be your daughter anymore, either! Don’t talk to me! Leave me alone! (brief pause) Mommy, I want to hear the kitty song: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow . . .
Lilah also talked to the pacifier fairy on the phone and pronounced, approvingly, that Lolita has a “strong but sweet voice, kind of like my singing voice.” Lilah is big on both singing and dancing, which she does in a style she calls “serious” dancing. It involves a very scrunched-up, angry face and a lot of punching and it is hard to keep a serious face while watching this dancing, especially when, as happened this morning, the dancer accidentally punches herself in the face.
And to think we almost named her Lilah Grace.